Bill: Are we talking about anyone specific?
We accept the love we think we deserve.
We accept the love we think we deserve.
Charlie: Can we make them know they deserve more?
Bill: We can try.
The above script is from the book/movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was fantastic, in case you’re wondering. Don’t be fooled, high school based subjects have more intensity that you sometimes give them credit for. It deals with sexual/ physical/ emotional abuse, suicide, friendship, uncertainties that plague all of our lives. But that quote just resonated because not only have I seen it in myself but along with so many others that my heart hurts for daily.
Sometimes doubt is overrun by an absolute certainty that I'm meant to have a child, a girl to be exact. I might have some boys but a girl is lurking at some point. I know this because there is no way, no freaking way; I'm not meant to enlighten her with my own experiences. Truly I'm humbled by my very own endurance. So much mundane obviousness that only comes from the life lessons of a wiser woman. Sheer defiance has brought me a long way. There’s funny stuff, embarrassing stuff, which usually is the funniest.
Buts there's also real, heartfelt life- Times that have only become accepted because they leapfrogs about and around the lighter bits. Guys were a big downfall for me. Beyond a distraction. In this way I was extremely ordinary. From what I see, there’s a fair amount of young people that haven’t experience loved and when they sense it or believe it’s attainable with that glimpse they become intoxicated. A number of times all my practicality and sensibility went out the window because I thought someone cared about me. I was sure of it. It was real and finally a part of my life. As many broken hearts will attest, we were wrong… I was wrong.
The guys weren't necessarily bad people. Maybe just immature or fickle or incapable or whatever it is boys are before they become more grounded and considerate. Either way my level head would begin to wobble and I would subject myself to bad situations, bad manners, bad feelings for the tinniest ounce of what I thought to be love. The key here is that it was subjection and well, subjection it's a choice or at least is was for me. Probably in some ways it still is, that innate desire to belong and yearning for acceptance…and affection.
The above script is from the book/movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was fantastic, in case you’re wondering. Don’t be fooled, high school based subjects have more intensity that you sometimes give them credit for. It deals with sexual/ physical/ emotional abuse, suicide, friendship, uncertainties that plague all of our lives. But that quote just resonated because not only have I seen it in myself but along with so many others that my heart hurts for daily.
Sometimes doubt is overrun by an absolute certainty that I'm meant to have a child, a girl to be exact. I might have some boys but a girl is lurking at some point. I know this because there is no way, no freaking way; I'm not meant to enlighten her with my own experiences. Truly I'm humbled by my very own endurance. So much mundane obviousness that only comes from the life lessons of a wiser woman. Sheer defiance has brought me a long way. There’s funny stuff, embarrassing stuff, which usually is the funniest.
Buts there's also real, heartfelt life- Times that have only become accepted because they leapfrogs about and around the lighter bits. Guys were a big downfall for me. Beyond a distraction. In this way I was extremely ordinary. From what I see, there’s a fair amount of young people that haven’t experience loved and when they sense it or believe it’s attainable with that glimpse they become intoxicated. A number of times all my practicality and sensibility went out the window because I thought someone cared about me. I was sure of it. It was real and finally a part of my life. As many broken hearts will attest, we were wrong… I was wrong.
The guys weren't necessarily bad people. Maybe just immature or fickle or incapable or whatever it is boys are before they become more grounded and considerate. Either way my level head would begin to wobble and I would subject myself to bad situations, bad manners, bad feelings for the tinniest ounce of what I thought to be love. The key here is that it was subjection and well, subjection it's a choice or at least is was for me. Probably in some ways it still is, that innate desire to belong and yearning for acceptance…and affection.
I feel a very strong purpose for what I've been through and what I can/should share with others. There's some reason my life had this very specific journey. There's also a reason my memory is crystal clear and those emotions are so easy accessed. Despite any feelings of regret or tenderness about the past I really do look forward to being a part of making sure people, one day maybe even my people, know their worth and just how much they are loved...the real kind.
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