no plans, no problem

Please note, this post was started on Saturday night and I just got around to arranging it properly. I've been through a number of transitions in my life so far. Some of them are literally due to aging, some to maturity, some to comfort level, and some are just preferential changes.

There was a time when I waited and wished to be a part if something. Friends and a lively social life were essential goals. I needed plans to define me. Then that time came. I'd spent most of Saturday planning outfits, getting manicured, setting hot rollers, giddy with excitement. Friendships were tested because there were just too many options and as much as I would've like I couldn't be everywhere at once.

The sudden influx of my social life faded into a new, more selective phase. People and plans were based on actual decisions and not whimsy. Times when there weren’t interactions at all my sense of self would waver. It became defining in it's own way. If I wasn’t on the “list” or part of “something” it really bothered me. Time proved that it really didn’t matter in the end.

Tonight I find myself at complete peace with my uneventful Saturday night. Don’t get me wrong, I love an excuse to get dressed up and go out but something about wondering Target and Bed Bath and Beyond without purpose is glorious. I’m actually happy to be commitment –free at the moment.

Leggings, over-sized sweater, boots is acceptable attire. Cruising around with my over-prized, caffeinated beverage and listening to John Mayer is an indulgence. Having some extra cash to spend on something just because I want it is my entertainment. Sometimes simplifying and not overanalyzing helps me recall that life is good.