Monday, November 4, 2013

Maintain(ing) it all

By now you know I love words. I believe I even wrote a post declaring it. Today’s word is:

main·tain
transitive verb \mān-ˈtān, mən-\
: to cause (something) to exist or continue without changing
: to keep (something) in good condition by making repairs, correcting problems, etc.
: to continue having or doing (something)
— main·tain·abil·i·ty\-ˌtā-nə-ˈbi-lə-tē\noun
— main·tain·able\-ˈtā-nə-bəl\adjective
— main·tain·ernoun

Lately I’ve been struck by this work or hung up on its practices more or less. Maintenance makes me think of physical labor. Hard working men. Blue collar. I know my macho categorizing sounds terribly anti-feminist. As I thought about the state of things, life that is, I realized I am my own maintenance worker and it has become a daily routine just to maintain my existence…


Maintaining my house.
Maintaining my weight.
Maintaining my marriage.
Maintaining my friendships.
Maintaining my employment.
Maintaining my blog.

Does anyone else have this feeling? Constantly striving for self-sustainability? I’m experiencing it as a noun, verb, and adjective. I feel an innate urge to care and worry for others but most of my own worriers are for problems that don’t exist yet. I want to excel in so many areas of my life. Actually, I meant to say all, at least I know my heart thinks it. Perfection isn’t attainable but sometimes it sure is desirable. 

The thing about it is I’m going to try and maintain my sanity for a little while. That might mean my house is a little messy. I might need to rely on my friends more than usual. My job will just need to be a job and not a life for a bit. All the secondaries will make do so the primaries can get proper attention.

I’m trusting that things will work themselves out, people will understand. I know they will. Maintaining is a wonderful talent. Having full knowledge of so many aspects of my life and repairing and making things continue is where I want to be again, soon. Right now however, my focus is needed more specifically in certain areas that require more than just general knowledge but specialist attention.





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