taking control

Awhile ago, on the old blog I talked about a job and the employer that blindsided me with a termination. No warning, I’d just had a substantial raise for my performance, was presented with a hefty severance package, eligible for unemployment etc… It was weird and unsettling. As you may remember I was a victim of collateral damage from an extramarital affair he was having. I try not to discuss it because it was such an emotional blow and I never got the full story until a couple years after the incident.

Aside from the emotional scarring, it left a blemish on my resume. It looked odd that the employment for under a year. It also left me in an unpleasant position of trying to explain something I didn't fully understand. Also trying to maintain composer when discussing a professional decision that felt so personal is challenging.  I've been really fortunate to not to have discussed that position or transition at length but I am always fearful of it.

Prepping for interviews is hard enough, especially if you really need a new job. I converse with myself for days, working on responses and appropriate verbiage. I go through my wardrobe and attempt to find the perfect outfit that allows comfort, exudes professionalism, as well as highlights my personality. I try different hairstyles and practice make-up techniques. Well you get the idea, I like to be prepared.

All the preparedness I could muster still left that cloud of panic about my employment history. So I did it. I went through some old correspondence and I found the email for the CEO that caused this mess. I emailed him a very concise, warm email asking if he could please write up a recommendation letter since I’m not comfortable discussing that situation and it may avoid phones calls from potential employers. I don’t think I exhaled the entire time typing until I pressed send. I know I was right to fight for myself but I really didn't want to engage in any type of correspondence.

I swear in under a minute I had a response. I seriously thought his email had changed and it was bounced back as “undeliverable”.  I was wrong, it was him and he was “delighted” to write something and would have it by tomorrow. My initial reaction was disgust at the fact that he was so cordial and once again I was assured that it wasn't me or else why would he be so willing to write a candid letter. That mood shifted fast with a blanket of "who cares?" No more wasted time wondering and feeling victimized by that person.

The letter came and it is quite glowing if I may say so. I’m so glad I finally got the courage to put myself out there and get something I felt I should have been extended in the first place. It amazing the sense of control I feel. Now I just need to ace this interview. On that note, it’s in a different industry and I have no idea about the details but if anything it’s a good practice run. Think happy thoughts for me!